It’s A New Year, So Why Not Start With A Little Bathroom Humor?

 

Never a dull moment in the life of a woman
         Never a dull moment in the life of a woman

 

For the New Year, instead of resolutions, I’ve decided to share a few simple things I learned in 2015 starting with some ladies public restroom etiquette…

The most profound thing I learned came not in a grand epiphany while doing something great for mankind, but while sitting on the potty in my favorite auto repair shop as I waited on my tires to be rotated.

I looked up and discovered something that I, in-all-my-years-of-living, had never noticed before:

There’s a hook on the door!

Since childhood, becoming old enough to go into a public bathroom stall by myself, I’ve sat with my purse on my lap, juggling it and toilet paper at the same time in order to get the job done.

Crazy thing is, I never looked up. Yup. Just like the statue, elbows on my knees, palm under my chin, contemplating my monotonously predictable life…until one day, many moons later, I decided to change position and, in doing so, looked skyward. Had I done so earlier in life, things might have been easier in many ways. As I sat pondering this new revelation, a little poem began formulating in my non-conforming head:

        (A newly inspired poem)

Here I sit; who knew to look? Above my head, a handy hook!

Placed up high upon the door, to keep my purse up off the floor.

All these years of soap and lather…who would have thought that it would matter?

For germs have hiding places well…no point to stress – just sit a spell!

So, when I got home, I did some research.

Most people begin making resolutions the day after the passage of the new year. Instead, I found myself looking backwards and reflecting on things that I learned in 2015. Oddly enough, I learned something new that I had never considered before. I found some impressive information about public bathroom etiquette.

Here it is:

When going to a ladies public restroom, instead of depositing your purse on the floor, hang it on the hook provided on the back of the door, as it has been discovered that more “bathroom germs” are found on the floor than are found in the toilet.

I swear…I never noticed that hook before I read the article! Neither did I know that I was coming out of the bathroom more contaminated than I went in! Wow! That puts whole new spin on things!

Finding the proper place for our purses has always been a biggie for we women in a public restroom.

Most of my life, I’ve looked at it from a viewpoint of “safety,” i.e. keeping it close so as not to get stolen by a stranger, or make sure that I have another woman along to hold it. When not juggling it on my lap,  I have sometimes absentmindedly put my purse or diaper bag on the floor, talking precautions against other random germs, clueless that germs were pulling one over on me all along. The news really floored me (no pun intended) when I read the article because I thought that I WAS taking the utmost in precaution!

For instance, I have always observed the following rituals:

Flush with your FOOT rather than your hand

Cover the seat with the provided paper

Never touch the lid (not a problem for ladies since in OUR facility we don’t leave it in the UP position)

Carry baby wipes with you just in case you need them to clean something you might have forgotten

Even when using those insane blow dryers (what’s wrong with paper towels?), use your elbow to turn them off and on

And the poor children that have to go into a public restroom with me have to be scrubbed like a sterile operating room before and after. But the whole time I was taking all these precautions, I had been carrying germs back home with me on the bottom of my purse incognito. Who knew?

For the most part, it is my hope that most women who read this will shake their heads in agreement and get a chuckle, and for some, like me, a new revelation. But there will be those ultra-conscientious people that carry Lysol in their purses that will respond with the reprimand that it should have been a no-brainer to look for a hook, or offer the phrase,

“Eeeewww! I can’t believe you let your purse touch the dirty floor!”

Well, I have a response for them.

 Here goes:

 First of all – It was the germophobes among us that were responsible for pocket hand sanitizers, which we have now found kill the necessary germs that need to stay on our hands to fight the diseases that we’re trying to avoid in the first place.

You are probably a “squatter”, in which case, you may be saving yourself from germs, but in the process mist a few extra microorganisms on the seat for those of us who follow after you.

Lastly, even if you avoid “germinating” the bottom of your purse, you carry them out on the bottom of your shoes anyway!

So there – didn’t know that, did you?

At any rate, NOW I make sure my purse is properly placed on the provided hook rather than feebly attempting to perch it on top of the toilet paper dispenser, my lap, or absentmindedly dropping it on the floor. I may still have germs on the bottom of my shoes, but at least now I have fewer germs than I did before, and that’s got to count for something.

I’ve been hanging up my purse for the better part of 2015, smiling each time I utilize its services, happy to have discovered something new that has proved quite helpful.

So, what is the moral of the story? I don’t know that there is one…

…but I do know this:

I will pay more attention to my surroundings.

Maybe we don’t “see” the significance in simple things because we’ve already decided to observe the world on our own terms, never realizing that there’s a panoramic world of possibilities beyond our self-absorbed landscape. 

A bathroom hook is a small, mundane thing that, in the rush to get things done in a hurry, I had overlooked for most of my life. I could have lived the rest of my life without it, but having discovered it makes me aware that I am a little bit safer for knowing it’s there. More importantly, the “small” discovery of this little gadget taught me something much “bigger.” It taught me that no matter how old I get, I’m never too old to learn something new, and those new revelations are sitting out there waiting to be noticed and discovered.

Obviously…I DON’T KNOW EVERYTHING

So, this year, I’m going to pay more attention to the small wonders that I encounter, and to the people around me. What discoveries I find that are of value, I will share with others, blessing them in the process. But more significantly, I plan to appreciate the fact that I will probably learn more from others than they learn from me, and that will make life all the richer.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is a “simple” blessing that beats the heck out of a hook on the door any day of the year!

  • Tammy

    I recently saw a quotes that sums up what I was trying to say. It’s something that Albert Einstein said. Here goes: “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” The latter helps us see the world through a perspective that we are not the center of the universe. We use a telephone never thinking what a miracle it is that we can communicate long distances through “waves” that we can’t see. Or look at the tiny threads in our clothes. That’s a far cry from animal skins. I just hope I can keep this wonder throughout the year. It’s worth a try. :)

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